He’s Just Not That Into You … So Don’t Waste Your Pretty

Everybody’s been there. You’re seeing someone and you just can’t figure him out. He compliments you, he can’t keep his hands off you, he brings you flowers on the first date, you have a date that a romantic comedy would be jealous of but then you don’t hear from him until three days later. What gives? If you lend an ear to Greg Behrendt, author of He’s Just Not That Into You, it comes down to those six words in his book title.

Sometimes you just have to make peace with those six—ugh, treacherous—words. When you’ve vanished your vulnerability, and shared yourself emotionally and/or physically, it’s difficult to realize that you and your guy are not emotionally compatible. Yes, that’s my nice way of saying “He ain’t feeling you.”

Humor is the perfect medicine for pain, especially heart pain. That’s why Greg’s hilarious insights into the opposite sex behavior is the perfect prescription for the misguided, misinformed, misled woman trying to sort through a man’s behavior. Here is some of the best, most clever and hilarious advice from Greg. Take heed ladies.

If he’s not calling you…it’s because he doesn’t want to. “If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do {the} same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs.”

Are you too busy to go after what you want? Yeah, neither is he. “It seems like a good excuse, but in fact in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember men are never to busy to get what they want.” 

His intentions should be clear … if he wants you, you should feel it.“Don’t spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you.” 

What are you compromising to be with him (or to put up with him)? “It’s very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less–even a vague pathetic facsimile of less—than you would have ever imagined. Remember always what you set out to get and please don’t settle for less. These guys exist because there are a lot of women out there who allow them to.” 

He’s who he is, not the dude you made up in your mind.“When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.”

When in doubt, bail out.“Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don’t every time.” 

Are you in love or fear? “Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It’s easy to confuse love with fear.” 

Like you, he makes time for what’s important. “Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?” 

 If he can’t be bothered with you, you can’t be bothered with him when he finally shows up.“Don’t you want the guy who’ll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?” 

Do yourself a favor: Accept things for what they are, not what you think it should be, what you imagine it to be or what you hope it to be. It’s simple: It is what it is, it’s not what it should have been, and not what it could have been, and it is what it is. If he’s not ACTING like he’s into you, he’s NOT into you.

Don’t waste your pretty. Pay attention to the guy who knows your value and doesn’t make you feel the urge to remind him how great you are—because the guy who loves you for you never needs to be reminded.




One Comment Add yours

  1. Rule of Thumb: Always pay attention to a man’s actions; his words are fairly meaningless. That’s the sad, regrettable yet utterly reliable truth. Best, JD.

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